The LGBT Center and two hugely popular gay bars in Manhattan, New York City recently refused to allow www.hiv-ub2.net and its founder, Robert Brandon Sandor, to host a social event for HIV-neg men at their venues. Unbelievable. To some of you, that is ok. To the real gay community and real HIV/AIDS advocates, that is not ok. That is wrong. Forget the reasons and the politics behind it, it is unacceptable. Certainly not with the reasons given to the organizer. But that is the way it is with the LGBT community and some (not all) gay people.Below, a copy of the mass email sent by the founder of www.HIV-UB2.net, Robert Brandon Sandor, who is the organizer:
You’re invited to stop by The LGBT Center this Friday for a social where you can “meet other HIV-negative people and maybe—if all works out—you can go out to your favorite bar or dance club after the social … who knows, you might get lucky!”
What is wrong with that? All gay men want to get lucky. No matter where they are. As a negative man, I would love to attend the above event at the LGBT Center where I can meet other negative men (or poz men). I enjoyed many social mixers there before and I got lucky a few times, too. Got lucky? Yes, got lucky. By that I don't mean getting sucked or fucked at the center. I met a few guys there, and as the HIV-UB2.net mentioned in its mass email, we exchanged #s and met another time after the social mixer. It is obvious. The LGBT Center and the two gay bars in Manhattan have not put their hearts as one and support one of their own people. This is the problem with us gay people -- we don't really want to help our own whole-heartedly or to see one of us doing well and getting noticed. If this isn't the problem we are facing within the LGBT community, this sure looks like one.
NY Blade:
Robert Woodworth, director of meeting and conference services at The Center, emailed Sandor on Dec. 3: “You know from my e-mail on Oct. 31 that you do not have space booked at The Center for the social. Please refrain from giving erroneous information to others.” Sandor hasn’t. In fact, he claims he’ll host the event at The Center with or without the organization’s support. Sandor’s web site, hiv-ub2.net, still promotes the gathering. That ad, among other things, has raised a red flag for Woodworth. “It’s not a social if you’re saying you ‘might get lucky,’” Woodworth said. “We are not holding an event advertised as a dating event on serosorting.”
David Henderson,
Director of Communications
LGBT Center in Manhattan, NY:
“Because The Center shares widely held concerns about risks associated with serosorting,” David Henderson, director of communications for The Center, said, “The Center does not believe that an event intended to encourage serosorting behavior is consonant with its mission to foster LGBT wellness.”
Robert Brandon Sandor
Founder of www.hiv-ub2.net:
“I’m not hosting a sex party. If I did that in a public place I’d be arrested,” Sandor said. “I’m hosting a mixer where HIV-negative people can meet other HIV-negative people.” Then why does the invitation mention “you might get lucky? Yes, you might get lucky, but not at The Center!” Sandor said. “It’s like if you go to a bar and meet someone. You may hit it off, leave the bar and hook up.”
NY Blade:
Sandor believes his serosorting gatherings, rather than just meeting someone at random, are helping others from having to live the way he does. “I’m supposed to be dead,” Sandor said. “There is nothing glorious or glamorous about taking pills all day. I am proud of the efforts of HIV-negative people for staying that way.” One may question, “why?” if Sandor feels so strongly about serosorting as a method of HIV prevention, he just doesn’t find another venue that would support his efforts. “By hosting it at The Center, I’m bringing attention to serosorting,” Sandor said. “I could host this event anywhere.” Interestingly, however, Sandor admits that two bars in Chelsea—View Bar and Rawhide—along with Gay Men’s Health Crisis denied his request. On Dec. 1, World AIDS Day, the Washington Post, ran a story on The Center for Disease Control’s National HIV Prevention Conference in Atlanta. Though no numbers have been officially released, it’s expected they will show over a 50 percent increase in new infections over the last few years. New data collection procedures are also showing that the number of new cases yearly is likely to now be 65,000 to 75,000 per year, instead of the 40,000 to 45,000 they have been predicting based on infection rates in the late 1990’s.
You’re invited to stop by The LGBT Center this Friday for a social where you can “meet other HIV-negative people and maybe—if all works out—you can go out to your favorite bar or dance club after the social … who knows, you might get lucky!”
What is wrong with that? All gay men want to get lucky. No matter where they are. As a negative man, I would love to attend the above event at the LGBT Center where I can meet other negative men (or poz men). I enjoyed many social mixers there before and I got lucky a few times, too. Got lucky? Yes, got lucky. By that I don't mean getting sucked or fucked at the center. I met a few guys there, and as the HIV-UB2.net mentioned in its mass email, we exchanged #s and met another time after the social mixer. It is obvious. The LGBT Center and the two gay bars in Manhattan have not put their hearts as one and support one of their own people. This is the problem with us gay people -- we don't really want to help our own whole-heartedly or to see one of us doing well and getting noticed. If this isn't the problem we are facing within the LGBT community, this sure looks like one.
NY Blade:
Robert Woodworth, director of meeting and conference services at The Center, emailed Sandor on Dec. 3: “You know from my e-mail on Oct. 31 that you do not have space booked at The Center for the social. Please refrain from giving erroneous information to others.” Sandor hasn’t. In fact, he claims he’ll host the event at The Center with or without the organization’s support. Sandor’s web site, hiv-ub2.net, still promotes the gathering. That ad, among other things, has raised a red flag for Woodworth. “It’s not a social if you’re saying you ‘might get lucky,’” Woodworth said. “We are not holding an event advertised as a dating event on serosorting.”
David Henderson,
Director of Communications
LGBT Center in Manhattan, NY:
“Because The Center shares widely held concerns about risks associated with serosorting,” David Henderson, director of communications for The Center, said, “The Center does not believe that an event intended to encourage serosorting behavior is consonant with its mission to foster LGBT wellness.”
Robert Brandon Sandor
Founder of www.hiv-ub2.net:
“I’m not hosting a sex party. If I did that in a public place I’d be arrested,” Sandor said. “I’m hosting a mixer where HIV-negative people can meet other HIV-negative people.” Then why does the invitation mention “you might get lucky? Yes, you might get lucky, but not at The Center!” Sandor said. “It’s like if you go to a bar and meet someone. You may hit it off, leave the bar and hook up.”
NY Blade:
Sandor believes his serosorting gatherings, rather than just meeting someone at random, are helping others from having to live the way he does. “I’m supposed to be dead,” Sandor said. “There is nothing glorious or glamorous about taking pills all day. I am proud of the efforts of HIV-negative people for staying that way.” One may question, “why?” if Sandor feels so strongly about serosorting as a method of HIV prevention, he just doesn’t find another venue that would support his efforts. “By hosting it at The Center, I’m bringing attention to serosorting,” Sandor said. “I could host this event anywhere.” Interestingly, however, Sandor admits that two bars in Chelsea—View Bar and Rawhide—along with Gay Men’s Health Crisis denied his request. On Dec. 1, World AIDS Day, the Washington Post, ran a story on The Center for Disease Control’s National HIV Prevention Conference in Atlanta. Though no numbers have been officially released, it’s expected they will show over a 50 percent increase in new infections over the last few years. New data collection procedures are also showing that the number of new cases yearly is likely to now be 65,000 to 75,000 per year, instead of the 40,000 to 45,000 they have been predicting based on infection rates in the late 1990’s.
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