Bottom Five:
Brooke Burke
Cloris Leachman
Rocco Dispirito
Jeff Ross
Kim Kardashian
Top Five:
Lance Bass
Toni Braxton
Susan Lucci
Cody Linley
Maurice Greene
Top Three:
1) Lance Bass & Lacey Schwimmer
2) Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke
3) Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo
Dancing with the Stars is scheduled to take center stage on ABC again in just three short weeks. Last week, the official cast of 13 celebrities was announced, and although they are not exactly A-list, some among the roster do seem like genuine, likeable people who will be fun to watch on TV. The more I think about it, the more I am convincing myself that it might be a better competition without any A-listers because then, maybe it will be more about the dancing, and less about any one contestant's ready-made fan base.
Below is QueerGam's take on this season's stars and pros.
On Maurice Greene
Maurice Greene is surprisingly still good looking after all these years. Maurice got the best pro partner if you'd ask me. The sexy and gorgeous Cheryl has won twice before, back to back - with Drew Lachey and Emmitt Smith - and she knows how to bring it on. She is also the most searched on the Net and Youtube, most photograped and most featured in the media of them all. She is currently dating 300 star, Gerard Butler...and last year she partnered Cristian de la Fuente and finished 3rd. Notwithstanding my own nerdery when it comes to track athletes, I think that Greene's biggest weakness is his obscurity to the American public. Not many people remember him as they remember Kristi Yamaguchi. He is an Olympic athlete, yes, but then, so is Misty May-Treanor. She is just back from the 2008 Olympics, so her Olympics-derived fame will probably overshadow Greene's in a big way. Further exemplifying the fact that he's not longer a household name, Greene participated in the NBC game show Identity in 2006, but the contestant failed to correctly identify him. I'm hoping that Maurice Greene can project a positive, outgoing personality to really get the fans behind him. But Cheryl is capable of charming the audience and she has her own strong gay following and fan base.
Below, Australia's Kim Johnson (left) and San Francisco's very own, Cheryl Burke.
On Cody Linley
Cody (below) of Disney Channel series Hannah Montana, will be dancing with Julianne Hough. Word is out that Cody has the biggest chance to take home the trophy this season but team Lance-Lacey is the biggest threat on the dance floor. Rocco Dispirito, Ted McGinley, Maurice Greene and Susan Lucci will bring maturity and elegance to the dance floor while Kim Kardasian and Brooke Burke will bring sexiness as Toni Braxton will bring sophistication and class to the floor.
Last season, Julianne was with Adam Carolla, who, by all intents and purposes, is a dirty old man. It'll be a nice change to see Julianne as the older woman this season. She's always been a take-charge kind of dance teacher, but I wonder if her dynamic with Cody will be different than that with her other partners. I'm sure she'll have a great time bossing Cody around, perhaps making teaching a little bit easier for her. In any case, she reliably produces very fun and interesting choreography, and she will be a pleasure to watch this season.
On Lance Bass
Lance needs Queers' votes! We have to help our own people. We have to vote for Lance and Lacey. I actually think that Lance is such a strong contender that I'm hard-pressed to come up with any cons about him. I suppose it's all a big crapshoot anyway because half of his fate will be determined by voters. If he doesn't appeal to the home audience in that special way, then people won't vote for him and he'll be out. But, if the competition were based strictly on talent, technique and entertainment value, then I think Lance will do just fine. I have to congratulate Lacey Schwimmer for parlaying a fourth place showing on FOX's So You Think You Can Dance into a gig as a professional on Dancing with the Stars. I was really impressed with her skills on So You Think You Can Dance, and I think she has a great personality. However, I get the feeling that some people don't think that she has enough experience to be a pro on Dancing with the Stars. It's true that she does specialize in West Coast swing, but she has also won a national title in Latin as well. I suppose that we'll just have to wait until the show premieres in a few weeks, but I'm cautiously optimistic about how she'll perform on the show.
On Toni Braxton
One of the reasons why singers do well on Dancing with the Stars is because they already have a lot of practice in learning and performing choreography. Karina Smirnoff's partner Mario was very strong last season, particularly in the Latin styles, and I'm sure that his experiences dancing in his music videos helped tremendously. Same goes for fifth season runner-up Melanie Brown.
However, if you take a look at Toni Braxton's music videos, she sings a lot of slow songs and she doesn't have a whole lot of dancing in them. I'm thinking that she might be good at performing the slower, sultrier ballroom styles, like the rumba, but she might have trouble with the fast-paced stuff.
On Rocco Dispirito
While Rocco does genuinely seem like a good, earnest person who will try hard and put in the effort, I'm not terribly convinced that he has any kind aptitude for dance. I'm hoping I'm wrong about this, but he looks incredibly awkward in these pictures. His tentative posture reminds me of Steve Guttenberg from last season, and that's not exactly a good thing. If Rocco's lucky, he'll make it to week three, but I'm not expecting him to get even that far in Dancing with the Stars. Karina Smirnoff has a habit of rolling her eyes and pouting when she doesn't get the kind of scores she wants. Her sourpuss attitude might have been what got her and her partner Mario removed from the competition last season. She also has a tendency to mouth off about her competition in the tabloids (as she did about Shannon Elizabeth last spring), which doesn't endear her to a viewing public who might be sick of cattiness and in-fighting. However, not everyone is tired of gossip, so her appearances in the gossip magazines might work in her and Rocco's favor after all.
QueerGam thinks:
TONI BRAXTON
The sultry chanteuse, is hoping to continue the trend of successful crooners on the floor - even though, as a woman, she will be doing it backwards, and in heels. She looks trim and fit, and with veteran Alec Mazo taking the lead, she has a serious chance of making it at least past the double elimination. We're predicting her weakness will be the lively Latin numbers - just can't picture her breaking into the jive.
LANCE BASS
He's got the moves. He's got the hair. He's a cosmonaut, so he's got the discipline. He's also got a versatile partner, newcomer to the show, Lacey Schwimmer, a 2006 Youth Latin and swing champion. It seems like this couple could definitely be in sync.
BROOKE BURKE
Her bio calls her a host, spokesperson, celebrity mom and many other things. Her introduction each week will take longer than her dance routine. Burke, the mother of four, is a long shot. And matching her with the very young Derek Hough seems a little creepy - like last year's partnership of Derek's sister, Julianne, with Adam Corolla.
ROCCO DISPIRITO
This Culinary Institute grad can cook, but can he work with salsa? Our guess? No. Dispirito is a tireless self-promoter and that's probably his reason for putting on his boogie shoes. However, pairing him with hot-headed diva Karina Smirnoff should provide some spicy moments - while they last.
MAURICE GREENE
The former Fastest Man Alive barely qualifies as a celebrity. No matter how well he does on the dance floor, will the Olympic gold, silver and bronze medalist sprinter get any votes? That depends partly on his chemistry with another champion - his partner, Cheryl Burke, returning for her sixth season.
KIM KARDASHIAN
Hey, her stepfather is an Olympic medalist, her sister is appearing this season on "Celebrity Apprentice" and um, she embarrasses herself with chickens on her reality series. Not much of a resume for this celebutante. Even though she gets hard-working Mark Ballas for a partner, don't expect to see him have the success he had with Kristi Yamaguchi.
CLORIS LEACHMAN
Yes, she's the oldest contestant ever. We don't expect Frau Blucher to make it too far in the competition. But we expect a lot of laughs from her backstage comments. The real story here is that her partner, Corky Ballas, will be competing against three of his former students - his son, Mark, and the Hough siblings.
CODY LINLEY
Yes, at 18, he's the youngest contestant ever. Len Goodman will constantly berate him about his maturity. But youngster Mario proved to be a worthy adversary last year. This ‘Hannah Montana" star will have the advantage of millions of young voters on his side. Linley and Julianne Hough definitely will be the prettiest couple on the dance floor.
SUSAN LUCCI
She's in her 60s. She will soon tape her 10,000 episode of "All My Children." She's sprightly and funny, and with partner Tony Davolani, she will be elegant. Latin dances will be her downfall. Her fans will keep her in the competition longer than her footwork.
TED McGINLEY
This veteran of raunchy or silly shows is hard to take seriously, until you see a few photos from his rehearsals. Looking serious, and with beautiful posture, this 50-year-old could last longer than some of the shows he has starred in. His partner is another show newcomer, exotic-looking Inna Brayer, who wins in both Latin and ballroom competitions.
JEFFREY ROSS
The "Meanest Man in Comedy" looks uncomfortable when he's talking with his feet, not his sharp tongue. Even with veteran Edyta Slowinska showing him the moves, he will not last too long. But it should be fun watching him and quick-witted host Tom Bergeron trade barbs.
WARREN SAPP
He's big. He's bad, but this former Buccaneer defensive tackle is no Penn Jellete. He can move, which he proved by setting the NFL record for quarterback sacks. That, and millions of fans who watched him play for Tampa Bay and Oakland, should keep him in the competition for a while. He can toss his fearless partner, Kym Johnson, around like a football.
MISTY-MAY TREANOR
The only woman with the dubious distinction of wearing fewer clothes while performing than Edyta Slowinska, May-Treaner is fresh off her Olympic gold-medal victory in beach volleyball. Her new partner is Maksim Chmerkovskiy. The two athletic performers should be able to power through the competition for a little while. Let's just hope May-Treaner puts a ring guard on her wedding ring. If it flies off this time, it could put an eye out.
Brooke Burke
Cloris Leachman
Rocco Dispirito
Jeff Ross
Kim Kardashian
Top Five:
Lance Bass
Toni Braxton
Susan Lucci
Cody Linley
Maurice Greene
Top Three:
1) Lance Bass & Lacey Schwimmer
2) Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke
3) Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo
Dancing with the Stars is scheduled to take center stage on ABC again in just three short weeks. Last week, the official cast of 13 celebrities was announced, and although they are not exactly A-list, some among the roster do seem like genuine, likeable people who will be fun to watch on TV. The more I think about it, the more I am convincing myself that it might be a better competition without any A-listers because then, maybe it will be more about the dancing, and less about any one contestant's ready-made fan base.
Below is QueerGam's take on this season's stars and pros.
On Maurice Greene
Maurice Greene is surprisingly still good looking after all these years. Maurice got the best pro partner if you'd ask me. The sexy and gorgeous Cheryl has won twice before, back to back - with Drew Lachey and Emmitt Smith - and she knows how to bring it on. She is also the most searched on the Net and Youtube, most photograped and most featured in the media of them all. She is currently dating 300 star, Gerard Butler...and last year she partnered Cristian de la Fuente and finished 3rd. Notwithstanding my own nerdery when it comes to track athletes, I think that Greene's biggest weakness is his obscurity to the American public. Not many people remember him as they remember Kristi Yamaguchi. He is an Olympic athlete, yes, but then, so is Misty May-Treanor. She is just back from the 2008 Olympics, so her Olympics-derived fame will probably overshadow Greene's in a big way. Further exemplifying the fact that he's not longer a household name, Greene participated in the NBC game show Identity in 2006, but the contestant failed to correctly identify him. I'm hoping that Maurice Greene can project a positive, outgoing personality to really get the fans behind him. But Cheryl is capable of charming the audience and she has her own strong gay following and fan base.
Below, Australia's Kim Johnson (left) and San Francisco's very own, Cheryl Burke.
On Cody Linley
Cody (below) of Disney Channel series Hannah Montana, will be dancing with Julianne Hough. Word is out that Cody has the biggest chance to take home the trophy this season but team Lance-Lacey is the biggest threat on the dance floor. Rocco Dispirito, Ted McGinley, Maurice Greene and Susan Lucci will bring maturity and elegance to the dance floor while Kim Kardasian and Brooke Burke will bring sexiness as Toni Braxton will bring sophistication and class to the floor.
Last season, Julianne was with Adam Carolla, who, by all intents and purposes, is a dirty old man. It'll be a nice change to see Julianne as the older woman this season. She's always been a take-charge kind of dance teacher, but I wonder if her dynamic with Cody will be different than that with her other partners. I'm sure she'll have a great time bossing Cody around, perhaps making teaching a little bit easier for her. In any case, she reliably produces very fun and interesting choreography, and she will be a pleasure to watch this season.On Lance Bass
Lance needs Queers' votes! We have to help our own people. We have to vote for Lance and Lacey. I actually think that Lance is such a strong contender that I'm hard-pressed to come up with any cons about him. I suppose it's all a big crapshoot anyway because half of his fate will be determined by voters. If he doesn't appeal to the home audience in that special way, then people won't vote for him and he'll be out. But, if the competition were based strictly on talent, technique and entertainment value, then I think Lance will do just fine. I have to congratulate Lacey Schwimmer for parlaying a fourth place showing on FOX's So You Think You Can Dance into a gig as a professional on Dancing with the Stars. I was really impressed with her skills on So You Think You Can Dance, and I think she has a great personality. However, I get the feeling that some people don't think that she has enough experience to be a pro on Dancing with the Stars. It's true that she does specialize in West Coast swing, but she has also won a national title in Latin as well. I suppose that we'll just have to wait until the show premieres in a few weeks, but I'm cautiously optimistic about how she'll perform on the show.
On Toni Braxton
One of the reasons why singers do well on Dancing with the Stars is because they already have a lot of practice in learning and performing choreography. Karina Smirnoff's partner Mario was very strong last season, particularly in the Latin styles, and I'm sure that his experiences dancing in his music videos helped tremendously. Same goes for fifth season runner-up Melanie Brown.
However, if you take a look at Toni Braxton's music videos, she sings a lot of slow songs and she doesn't have a whole lot of dancing in them. I'm thinking that she might be good at performing the slower, sultrier ballroom styles, like the rumba, but she might have trouble with the fast-paced stuff.
On Rocco Dispirito
While Rocco does genuinely seem like a good, earnest person who will try hard and put in the effort, I'm not terribly convinced that he has any kind aptitude for dance. I'm hoping I'm wrong about this, but he looks incredibly awkward in these pictures. His tentative posture reminds me of Steve Guttenberg from last season, and that's not exactly a good thing. If Rocco's lucky, he'll make it to week three, but I'm not expecting him to get even that far in Dancing with the Stars. Karina Smirnoff has a habit of rolling her eyes and pouting when she doesn't get the kind of scores she wants. Her sourpuss attitude might have been what got her and her partner Mario removed from the competition last season. She also has a tendency to mouth off about her competition in the tabloids (as she did about Shannon Elizabeth last spring), which doesn't endear her to a viewing public who might be sick of cattiness and in-fighting. However, not everyone is tired of gossip, so her appearances in the gossip magazines might work in her and Rocco's favor after all.
QueerGam thinks:
TONI BRAXTON
The sultry chanteuse, is hoping to continue the trend of successful crooners on the floor - even though, as a woman, she will be doing it backwards, and in heels. She looks trim and fit, and with veteran Alec Mazo taking the lead, she has a serious chance of making it at least past the double elimination. We're predicting her weakness will be the lively Latin numbers - just can't picture her breaking into the jive.
LANCE BASS
He's got the moves. He's got the hair. He's a cosmonaut, so he's got the discipline. He's also got a versatile partner, newcomer to the show, Lacey Schwimmer, a 2006 Youth Latin and swing champion. It seems like this couple could definitely be in sync.
BROOKE BURKE
Her bio calls her a host, spokesperson, celebrity mom and many other things. Her introduction each week will take longer than her dance routine. Burke, the mother of four, is a long shot. And matching her with the very young Derek Hough seems a little creepy - like last year's partnership of Derek's sister, Julianne, with Adam Corolla.
ROCCO DISPIRITO
This Culinary Institute grad can cook, but can he work with salsa? Our guess? No. Dispirito is a tireless self-promoter and that's probably his reason for putting on his boogie shoes. However, pairing him with hot-headed diva Karina Smirnoff should provide some spicy moments - while they last.
MAURICE GREENE
The former Fastest Man Alive barely qualifies as a celebrity. No matter how well he does on the dance floor, will the Olympic gold, silver and bronze medalist sprinter get any votes? That depends partly on his chemistry with another champion - his partner, Cheryl Burke, returning for her sixth season.
KIM KARDASHIAN
Hey, her stepfather is an Olympic medalist, her sister is appearing this season on "Celebrity Apprentice" and um, she embarrasses herself with chickens on her reality series. Not much of a resume for this celebutante. Even though she gets hard-working Mark Ballas for a partner, don't expect to see him have the success he had with Kristi Yamaguchi.
CLORIS LEACHMAN
Yes, she's the oldest contestant ever. We don't expect Frau Blucher to make it too far in the competition. But we expect a lot of laughs from her backstage comments. The real story here is that her partner, Corky Ballas, will be competing against three of his former students - his son, Mark, and the Hough siblings.
CODY LINLEY
Yes, at 18, he's the youngest contestant ever. Len Goodman will constantly berate him about his maturity. But youngster Mario proved to be a worthy adversary last year. This ‘Hannah Montana" star will have the advantage of millions of young voters on his side. Linley and Julianne Hough definitely will be the prettiest couple on the dance floor.
SUSAN LUCCI
She's in her 60s. She will soon tape her 10,000 episode of "All My Children." She's sprightly and funny, and with partner Tony Davolani, she will be elegant. Latin dances will be her downfall. Her fans will keep her in the competition longer than her footwork.
TED McGINLEY
This veteran of raunchy or silly shows is hard to take seriously, until you see a few photos from his rehearsals. Looking serious, and with beautiful posture, this 50-year-old could last longer than some of the shows he has starred in. His partner is another show newcomer, exotic-looking Inna Brayer, who wins in both Latin and ballroom competitions.
JEFFREY ROSS
The "Meanest Man in Comedy" looks uncomfortable when he's talking with his feet, not his sharp tongue. Even with veteran Edyta Slowinska showing him the moves, he will not last too long. But it should be fun watching him and quick-witted host Tom Bergeron trade barbs.
WARREN SAPP
He's big. He's bad, but this former Buccaneer defensive tackle is no Penn Jellete. He can move, which he proved by setting the NFL record for quarterback sacks. That, and millions of fans who watched him play for Tampa Bay and Oakland, should keep him in the competition for a while. He can toss his fearless partner, Kym Johnson, around like a football.
MISTY-MAY TREANOR
The only woman with the dubious distinction of wearing fewer clothes while performing than Edyta Slowinska, May-Treaner is fresh off her Olympic gold-medal victory in beach volleyball. Her new partner is Maksim Chmerkovskiy. The two athletic performers should be able to power through the competition for a little while. Let's just hope May-Treaner puts a ring guard on her wedding ring. If it flies off this time, it could put an eye out.
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