We'll Tumble For Ya, We'll Tumble For Ya...Our Proud American Boys

On still rings, they were simply dazzling. Rings is all about brute strength, an event so physically demanding spectators wince just watching. But Jonathan Horton, Spring Justin and Kevin Tan moved effortlessly from one strength pose to another, the bulging veins in their arms, necks and foreheads were the only signs of their exertion. They took a small hop forward on their landing, grinned and smiled at the camera (and waved at us watching at home) as they exchanged high-fives and hugged with each other. So gay-looking.

Alexander Artemev, the Jason Lezak in the air, saved the day.

As impressive as Jonathan’s or Justin's showmanship was, Alex’s was even better. When he lifted his body into a plane, his arms extended, his back so straight you could iron on it. He moves easily from one position to another and holds his strength moves for what seem like minutes, never showing the slightest sign that his muscles are screaming.

Even before his feet hit the mat, the crowd was in a frenzy and a roar that shook the arena exploded as he thrust his hands into the air. Alex raised his head and closed his eyes, knowing he didn't do good enough to beat the Chinese. The Chinese finished the event—the third—behind the Americans, but that was simply math.