Hi Andreas,
I hear you. I am sure there are many others who have been eliminated because of chemistry. I agree Chemistry is the most important of the four Cs. Also know that I've also been dumped because of chemistry. When you think about the qualities found in a true "soul mate" relationship, what one word comes up most often on the top of your list? Is it CHEMISTRY? Probably.
Just the mention of this term conjures up powerful feelings and images for anyone who has ever been in or seeking a love relationship. It is often described as a feeling that leaves you breathless, excited and weak in the knees. Palms sweat, the heart races and the body tingles with nervous anticipation.
It is believed by virtually everyone that true love cannot exist without chemistry. Therefore, the conclusion most would-be lovers come to is that if they experience these intense feelings towards someone, they have the basis for an ideal and lasting relationship. Right? Maybe not. This intense, physical passion is the stuff that Oscar winning movies and best-selling books are made of. It's the hidden element of chemistry. It's when two beings meet and connect on a deeper level. It can only be felt in the heart and soul. This is understandably a cause of great frustration and confusion about whom should we choose and why.
In order to understand this better, it is helpful to know how and when each facet of chemistry occurs. Physical attraction (or lust) generally begins during our first contact with someone. It can DEVELOP into something more over time, yet some pull is there from the beginning. Generally speaking, all "soul mate relationships" require at least some measure of each of these. The important thing to remember is that they come in stages, which is not to say that the physical attraction passes as one moves into a deeper connection. Remember not to confuse great sex or deep friendship with romantic love. Instead, look for a measure of both of these in your feelings for another. For then you have the ingredients that lasting love is made from.
Guest Blogger: Phil Spencer
Phil is a self-employed queer who lives in a fabulous Noe Valley Victorian home in San Francisco with his partner, Jeff, where they host chic backyard soirees on a regular basis and last weekend, for the first time, perfected the art of hosting a hot sex party with strangers.
I hear you. I am sure there are many others who have been eliminated because of chemistry. I agree Chemistry is the most important of the four Cs. Also know that I've also been dumped because of chemistry. When you think about the qualities found in a true "soul mate" relationship, what one word comes up most often on the top of your list? Is it CHEMISTRY? Probably.
Just the mention of this term conjures up powerful feelings and images for anyone who has ever been in or seeking a love relationship. It is often described as a feeling that leaves you breathless, excited and weak in the knees. Palms sweat, the heart races and the body tingles with nervous anticipation.
It is believed by virtually everyone that true love cannot exist without chemistry. Therefore, the conclusion most would-be lovers come to is that if they experience these intense feelings towards someone, they have the basis for an ideal and lasting relationship. Right? Maybe not. This intense, physical passion is the stuff that Oscar winning movies and best-selling books are made of. It's the hidden element of chemistry. It's when two beings meet and connect on a deeper level. It can only be felt in the heart and soul. This is understandably a cause of great frustration and confusion about whom should we choose and why.
In order to understand this better, it is helpful to know how and when each facet of chemistry occurs. Physical attraction (or lust) generally begins during our first contact with someone. It can DEVELOP into something more over time, yet some pull is there from the beginning. Generally speaking, all "soul mate relationships" require at least some measure of each of these. The important thing to remember is that they come in stages, which is not to say that the physical attraction passes as one moves into a deeper connection. Remember not to confuse great sex or deep friendship with romantic love. Instead, look for a measure of both of these in your feelings for another. For then you have the ingredients that lasting love is made from.
Guest Blogger: Phil Spencer
Phil is a self-employed queer who lives in a fabulous Noe Valley Victorian home in San Francisco with his partner, Jeff, where they host chic backyard soirees on a regular basis and last weekend, for the first time, perfected the art of hosting a hot sex party with strangers.